I had no idea at the beginning of this day that there were so many blessings hidden in it. In fact, I was rather emotional and non-expectant, mostly because I have had an asthma flare-up, the first in quite a while. I even had to haul out the nebulizer. And I had forgotten how lousy it feels to not be able to sleep more than two hours without waking up coughing and gasping for air and then later that just weak and shaky and all-is-not-right-with-the-world feeling that persists as you are aware that the air is not really getting very far down into your lungs. I actually started to cry, thinking, "What have I done with this decision to homeschool Brianna? What is going to happen on days like this, days when I am so weak and uncommunicative?" Big negative spiral clearly heading toward "I'm a total loser and negatively impact the lives of everyone around me."
I decided to take a positive action to head it off and sat down at the computer to get a few of the resources for our first unit printed out and look for a few more goodies. Well, that was fun and fascinating. I am amazed when I realize how much I will learn by teaching Bri. And in the back of my mind, this underlying certainty that I dwell in began to push back through the fog to the surface: It takes a community and God has so richly blessed us with a great community. The thought of saying that I am going to homeschool Brianna just strikes me as absurd and arrogant. Even making that Paul and I doesn't change that. But the absurd statement woud not be true anyway-- we have a community, with a nurse to teach health and an opera student to teach teach music, and a lot of other people consistently asking Bri what she has been learning and answering any questions she presents them with the best they can. People in our community are even asking when our first day is so that they can help us make a big deal of it. Amazing.
I had also had a few twinges at 7:30 this morning, just not being a part of that whole first-day-of-school scene that has played a big part in my life from so many angles. We did not start school today. We are starting on Wednesday. (Before the asthma event, Bri and I had some hopes of making a trip to New Mexico with my parents before we jumped into our fall routine. But since we are home, Bri is ready to get started. We compromised on Wednesday since I still need to pull a few things together and she does not have her desk exactly the way she wants it for school.)
But today still gave me some answers about what would happen on a day like today. When Bri got up, she started asking questions about how her daddy and I met and then going on to the next step and the next. I told the story to my rapt audience of one. We really have not started school yet, but the mindset is already there, so as we went, there was math: "So if Daddy thought Mommy would be there at 1:00, but she didn't get there until 3:00, how many hours did Daddy wait for Mommy?", etc. When she was surprised that we didn't first figure out that I was pregnant because of how fat I got, we went online and talked about some pictures of development in utero. Cool. Then over lunch, we brought out the photo albums and those brought out more stories. What a sweet day. I actually feel much better now--although Bri did not manage to motivate me to help her clear out her junky desk drawers. And I am so excited about Wednesday I can hardly wait.
Today has reminded me of all the positive reasons that we found for homeschooling after the initial negative ones of escape-from-DISD, where I had been focused on the negative ones lately because they are the ones I expect to help other people understand our decision. I am going to write about our decision here soon so that those who don't understand it can at least see some of our thought process. But for today, I am thinking of the precious picture Bri and I looked at today of Uncle Harvey holding Bri when she was 3 months old, and I am hearing his familiar words echo through me: Praise God from whom all blessings flow!